I have a daughter! It still feels so surreal to say that. A daughter. Me. For nine months I carried this sweet little babe, not knowing the gender, the name, the face, or the personality. I loved her so much already, but I didn’t know WHO I was loving. It was such an incredible feeling to finally meet our baby girl. To find out it was BENTLEY. I will say though, there was a little mishap in the delivery room, and for a split second I thought we had a son. Ha! Yes, you heard correctly. It is a sweet and hilarious story that will always be apart of Bentley’s birth story.
Near the end of delivery, I knew the baby had arrived when I saw Tate’s face completely melt and tears started streaming down his face. I was so anxious to know if it was a boy or a girl, so I immediately started asking, “what is it what is it what is it??” Tate looked at me saying “It’s a boy! It’s a boy!” So obviously I start crying, “oh my gosh we had a boy!” About to call our baby by the boy name we picked out.
As the doctor handed her to me, she was laughing and telling us to “look again”. She lifted up the umbilical cord, only for us to discover she was INDEED a girl! Hahah Tate and I started laughing and crying harder saying, “IT’S A GIRL!? IT’S A GIRL!!!” Talk about a whirlwind of emotions! Words will never be able to describe the feeling I felt when they laid my sweet baby girl on my chest. I finally got to meet my sweet Bentley. She had a full head of dark hair, sweet little lips I wanted to kiss, and big bright eyes. Not to mention her eyelashes, where did she get them?? Not from me! They’re gorgeous! Speaking of her head of hair, that was the first thing I knew about her. Before I even started pushing, the doctor said, “well I see a full head of dark long hair”. What??! We were shocked! I was not expecting dark hair, nor was I expecting a lot of it. So that was kind of fun to find out right before go time!
I’m not going to go in depth about my labor and delivery. Not necessarily for personal reasons, but because I always got really anxious reading other people’s stories. Giving birth was something I was really anxious about. I was so nervous, I cried multiple times about it, and I was terrified of the unknown. What would my story be like? What would my labor be like? Will it be like hers? Or hers? Maybe you can relate, and maybe you can’t. Maybe you love reading other people’s stories and it doesn’t effect you in the slightest. Or maybe you’re like me, and it does! Just remind yourself that EVERY birth story is different. No two will be the same. Your story will be YOUR story and it will be beautiful.
I will say, labor was not as bad as I thought it would be! I had all these ideas and expectations of what it would be like, and it didn’t line up with those at all. My contractions started out not painful at all, but consistently 5 minutes apart for hours. I was so confused. Am I in labor? Surely not. I went to bed and two hours later I woke up in really bad pain and it was go time. It didn’t happen like I thought it would happen, and it didn’t progress as slowly as I thought it would. Once again, every story is different! I had read countless stories of people laboring at home for hours. So that is what I envisioned my story being.
We got to the hospital, I fought through contractions until I couldn’t anymore, and then I got an epidural. That thing is life CHANGING. Once again, getting the epidural was not as bad as I thought (and they gave it to me during a contraction, yes, why). From there it was pretty peaceful! I’m pretty sure I surprised both myself and Tate in that delivery room. We all joked about how dramatic I would be, that poor Tate was going to be put through the ringer, and that I would not tolerate the slightest amount of pain. And not to toot my own horn…but I was a champ. I was nice, polite, AND tough. WHO WOULD’VE GUESSED THAT!? hahah.
That delivery room holds some of my most cherished moments. Both with Tate and Bentley. The bonding that takes place between you and your husband is incredible and indescribable. The bonding that takes place between you and your child is also incredible and indescribable. Moments I will never forget!
Recovery was probably the hardest part for me. We think my body had a reaction to the type of stitches I had, making the pain ten times more painful. I believe I told Tate I’m not having anymore kids after that. My drama came after the delivery room. HA! But it really was hard to walk, sit, even lay down, and take care of Bentley. Not being able to do those things was really hard to work through, both emotionally and physically. Once I started feeling better, I then came down with a little virus and had a fever for 4 days. Can’t make this stuff up. But I eventually kicked that, and now I’m on the road back to normal. I’m also back to wanting more kids 😉
My mom arrived right before Bentley was born, and was here until January 5th. My dad was also here that last week! IT WAS A LITERAL GIFT FROM GOD HAVING THEM HERE. Seriously. My mom is amazing and was constantly serving and taking care of us. Words can’t describe how blessed and thankful I felt to have her here with us. Not to mention, she was there when Bentley was born! Having a baby overseas is not easy. I always envisioned being surrounded by family when I had a baby. Having pictures to look back on, of family members holding our child for the first time in the hospital. Unfortunately it didn’t happen like that, but I will say, I felt so incredibly surrounded by both of our families the whole time. We had two big group texts going, and I would have Tate read the messages out loud during labor. It kept me going! Bentley can’t wait to meet all her aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins. June can’t come soon enough!
I know I am biased, but Bentley is the sweetest little girl in the entire world. It’s almost been three weeks since she was born, and I have already learned so much about her and her personality. She loves to have her hands up by her face, she hates being swaddled, she loves kicking her little legs non stop, she sneezes in threes, and is so polite when she’s hungry. She gives one or two little wails, to let you know she’s hungry, and then she waits for her food. She is super alert when she is awake, she has big blue eyes that constantly stare in curiosity, and I swear she has given real smiles. I love how chill she is and her sweet disposition (I hope she stays that way, please and thank you Bent!). Bentley has so many facial expressions and I just know we will never have to guess what she is thinking when she’s older. She legitimately has heart shaped nostrils. I am obsessed. We’ve gone on a couple outings and she is a CHAMP. The face she makes when she is reaching for food is the cutest face in the entire world. I love how peaceful she gets when she’s in my arms or on my chest. She hates when mommy puts bows on her, but mommy isn’t going to stop doing that. 😉 I love her little cheeks and her lips. Bentley loves being wide awake at 3 am. She doesn’t fuss or cry at 3 am, she’s wide eyed and just wants to look at you. She has her daddy’s lips and chin! She looks so much like Tate. I think she has a little bit of me in there?? Who do you think she looks more like?
Transitioning to having a newborn has definitely been an adjustment! It’s been one big learning experience, and half the time I still don’t know what I am doing. But I do know that I was meant to be a mom. It has felt so natural to take care of Bentley. The nights are long, the days are long, I’m really tired, and I am always asking “it’s time for her to eat already???”. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything! I love this little girl more than anything. I am choosing to cherish the 3 am hang sessions. I am choosing to view every feeding as a way to love and serve her. Everyone tells me the newborn stage flies by, so I am soaking up every minute!
Thank YOU for your constant support and encouragement! It was so fun being able to finally share with you guys when Bentley was born! I have felt so loved by you all. Thank you for your prayers and sweet words! It means the world.